Uncertainty

I feel so lost right now. As most of you know, we have been trying to sell our house for almost two years now. I took a job in Grand Rapids two years ago and Brett has been working in Grand Rapids even longer than that. Since taking the job, our house has been on the market with lots of showings, but absolutely NO OFFERS! We have dropped the price $25,000 from where we started and we are now listing our house for less than we owe on it.

Let me start out by saying I am thankful. I am thankful that we have a Savior and a Father who loves us. I am thankful that we are all healthy. I am thankful we are blessed with a happy marriage. I am thankful we are blessed with two of the best boys. I am thankful we have wonderful family and friends who are so supportive of us and love us so much. I am thankful that we both have jobs. I am thankful we have insurance. I could keep going on and on about the things I am thankful for and I have no doubts about the fact that we are blessed!

However, I am also confused and lost and uncertain. Two years ago, when I was offered the Spanish position at Cross Creek, we felt like God was answering our prayers to move back to Grand Rapids and to be closer to family and many friends (even though we have some wonderful friends here in Kalamazoo!!). Everything just felt like it was supposed to happen and we felt completely confident that we were doing God's will. We knew the housing market was starting to go down, but we thought we could and would sell our house because God would make it happen. Here we are two years later with a for sale sign still in our yard.

Last year, we thought we had walked into an unbelievable position with a couple in Grand Rapids who wanted to move to Kalamazoo. We were going to try to buy each other's houses and it just seemed to good to be true. Turns out it was! Things got very complicated and there were issues with home values that prevented it from working out.

We don't know where to go from here. I would really like a clear message from God telling us what to do. I feel like crying out..."I'm willing to follow you Lord, but I don't know where you're leading me!" How do you follow when you don't know where you're supposed to go? How do we know what to do? I'm tired and I'm confused and I just really don't know what we're supposed to do anymore. I don't know if we went down the wrong path and all of this is a result of that or if we are still following, but it's just a little unclear of where we're going.

As it stands right now, we can live in our house until the market turns around and drive an hour both ways (so two hours a day) for work or we could lower our price yet again even though that doesn't guarantee a sale. We definitely aren't making money and we're willing to take a loss, but we're at the point now where the amount of loss would equal a house payment before we start talking about where we will live. While I trust that God will provide for us, we also have to be realistic about how much of a loss we can take on this house.

I guess I'm using this entry to vent what's on my heart, but also to ask for prayer. Please pray that we would know what we're supposed to do and that we could follow where God is leading us. Please pray that we could find the lesson in all of this and learn from it. Please pray that we can remember God has a plan for our lives. I know these things deep down in my soul, but right now they feel buried under all of this uncertainty and confusion. I just want to be able to move forward from this...